We were meant to be...(2:33am)

The story starts with a young girl who spends a ridiculous amount of time at starbucks. The setting was a cold evening in November and people skurried in wearing peacoats, sweaters and scarfs of the sort. As she sat there with her math homework pulling her hair out becuase of the difficulty of understanding several variables and exponents infront of her she became hopeless. He was a older boy, some what of a man. Young, but not in high school,early 20's, wore Wrangler jeans and a baseball cap, and fully equipped with a Southern accent. Something happened that November evening, this stranger saw this young girl struggling and offered a hand, apparently he was a math major in the past, he wasn't from around here and asked if it was weird that he asked her if she needed assistance..... she simply shook her head no and sat in amazement that someone would sit down and reach out a hand to a complete stranger. this was a moment. a single fash in time where she saw God's love. something simple, not hardand not impossible to acheive. This country bumpkin had no idea what he had just opened her eyes to..As he tipped his hat and wished her well, she then realized something huge. We were meant to be a city on a hill, right? Well, im thinking that we have screwed that up more than enough times. I think thoes simple acts of kindness are what show God's love in a different light. We can sit here and donate money and sing praise songs, although that is all good and well...but is that really what we are called to do? Doesn't God want us to GO. Im not talking a huge missions trip (although that is good..India:)) but letting that person cut in front of you at the groocery store, saying thank you to the people you love, loving the person who needs it most, giving that homeless man a sandwich...we talk about this all the time, but who accually does it? lets be 100% honest..we are lucky if we get through the mall parking lot around Christmas time with out being flipped off. No one wants love to rule them, they want power and lust and things. Love is a over-used and abused word, but is so pure in the correct context. Let us love this season, let us offer a hand and not expect a brownie button. Let us put on a pair of Wrangler jeans and become a country bumpkin, because we never know who might need that helping hand...

We Were Meant To BE
By: Revive


How'd we drift so far apart?
Oh, God it breaks our hearts
We can hear heavens tears cry
For wasted years

The time for change is now
Can you hear us calling out?

We were meant to be
A city on a hill
Shine like the stars in the sky
We were meant to live

For more than this world
So open our eyes to see
What we were meant to be
What we were meant to be

Even in the darkest place
We'll stand, we're not ashamed
When fear and doubt, try to hold us down
We'll stand, we're not afraid

The time for change is now
We can hear you calling out

We were meant to be
A city on a hill
Shine like the stars in the sky
We were meant to live

For more than this world
So open our eyes to see
What we were meant to be
What we were meant to be

Start a brush fire in my soul
A flame that won't die, won't grow cold
Let it burn, let it burn

Start a brush fire in my soul
A flame that won't die, won't grow cold
Let it burn for You

We were meant to be
A city on a hill
Shine like the stars in the sky
We were meant to live

For more than this world
So open our eyes to see
We were meant to be
A city on a hill

Shine like the stars in the sky
We were meant to live

For more than this world
So open our eyes to see
What we were meant to be

i don't know.

what to blogg. ill be back.

Therapy.

Haven't blogged in a while. Hmmh well let me just say that i miss it first of all. Well, one thing really ticked me off today and it should be said in blog-land. WHO does sketchers think they are to copy TOMS>! i mean "BOBS"....really...? stupid people. Well, now that i got that off my chest, i am also struggling with copy-caters in some aspects, very agrivating, sometimes i wish i was Taylor Swift so i can just write a song about you and get it over with. Please don't ask me if you can do this...thanks. Well, im currently in a state on confusion i don't seem to know what to do, even when i sit with Jack Johnson, insence and CS Lewis, its all a blur. I feel that Spiritually, i am going through therapy with God. A step by step process of growth and maturity. It is truly amazing what He can do with time, he spends it way more affective than i do. I need to learn to His ways. Thats another thing, this whole growth therapy, yah its kind of confusing me...a lot.

<3

Just trying to live for HIM, but i screw up all the time.

**Jack Johnson tomorrow...im going to sleep like a little kid on Christmas Eve.**

anyone want some spare change?

You change your clothes on a daily basis. Your president promises change (hahahaha...joke.) You change your hair style. The leaves change in the fall (not in Southern Cali...but roll with me on this one) The date changes, the trends change, the weather changes, people change, and change is scarier than scary. Yes, i have been told that change is good. But im not a huge fan unless this is a big change. A small quiet change that awakes you and reminds you who you really truly care about. Yah, its weird, but you know what? Its gunna happen, just like the weather changes. And if you are an insomniac like myself, you can watch the moon change to the sun...you can sometimes even see the dew form on a fresh flower. Its all so slow, but in life, change comes FAST...like BAM! The change i am experiencing is weird, but i think it is going to be ok. Yes, i have already cried hysterically and asked why a million times, but i think it will be ok. Ok, just that. There is a small part of me that is still bitter, but it is a nice healing process. A nice form of rehab i guess. Therapy is a good word. I need to sit back and remember that change can become positive, because all things work for the greater good of those who love HIM. And that is that, and i swear i will love God and love others, because even though this change is terrible, He has something good in store. Now, heres the fun part, guide me! yep, God here it is show me where you want me, either in India for a year? Seattle? Tennessee? Santa Barbara? where? tell me please? that would make my life .5% less stressful. Thanks. But you know if you don't tell me, then i am ok with that because i know that you have it all figured out and i can MAYBE sleep tonight knowing that.

-a very very frazzled kimberly kazarian.

original?

ha. you disgust me. goodbye poser.

something about 3:36am.

something about finding comfort in the fact the world is sleeping, and here. here i am wide awake, one million and ten things to do, and frankly, i dont want to do them. but i will not sleep until all is done. the peace i find in 3:36am. the piece of me that sings aloud, that screams, that slaps paint on a canvas hoping for some direction intrudes my body. the fact that i can sit here completely ignoring my Beowulf essay and be ok. ok with the fact that you know what? i have had a tough week and yes it is only tuesday. something about jon foreman singing through my computer speakers gives me a sense of its the way it is. i am lost and i am ok with it. it takes me back to the time in quaker medow when i literally got lost. bein the rebel i am there was a rule to not go anywhere alone at night, and i got lost. but i was happy. also, being the rebel i am, i had my ipod and i had jon foreman. me and john have been through a lot. he seems to sing the rights things at the right times. the song "your love is strong" is basically my prayer every night. it takes it all and sings it to the Lord. i mean i feel that there is something i am iching to discover, but i have yet to come to it. some spark of ummmph. something to point the way. i want to follow Him in a bigger way. i am determined to find this ummmph i speak of this night.

i have the right to be pissed off.

Alright heres the thing, you stand up there and expect me to have respect for you because of the bull shit and bad jokes coming out of your mouth! well. i don't. you have done nothing for me, in fact you have pushed me away. you are dead to me. yep, i said it. thats right, i never thought it would come to this. you pull the dearest people out of my life, the ones that matter and care for me like their own and expect me to brush it off. ha. well heres the thing, my dad warned me about people like you. thats why he left long ago, he had the right idea because he doesn't take shit from anybody...and neither do i. My grammie is right she said, "people are just like dogs, some are smart and some are just fucking stupid". there is no reason behind this, this whole earthquake to my life. no closure. nothing. the whole "everything happens for a reason" deal just ticks me off, because let me tell you something. where is the reason? oh wait! there is NONE. good, glad you find joy in taking away the people who accually care about me, if this is your movement and the way you deal with things, i want out, and better yet never in your presence again. screw the fact that it all happens for a reason. i am upset, nothing will altar my life as much as this has so far. if your goal is to keep me away, congratulations mr. you succeeded! because i do not care if this post is not civilized. i have the right to be royally ticked off. and i am. so there you have it.

my pet

Mr. PEEEEVE. pet peeves. we all have them we all hate them. its not a love hate thing, its something we can not stand so here it goes......

guys that don't open doors.

girls that are super skinny and they think they are fat.

fake boobs.

fish net shirts.

fake girls.

juicy couture.

puffy paint.

juicy couture trying to be betsey johnson.

not being able to see the numbers on my locker.

face lifts.

when people don't flush, i mean COME ON!

people who fish for compliments.

hair gel.

when 16 year olds ride motorcycles.

unfaithful people.

liars.

when people don't wash their hands after they pee.

people who think their shit doesnt stink.

people who dont talk.

when their favorite jack johnson song is "banana pancakes".

posers.

comb overs.

scenesters.

copy cats.

the word pedeatritrian.

when guys are douches in front of their friends.

bieber fever.

dark eye-liner.

kiss fm.

tuesday morning.

people who post their sketches/paintings on facebook expecting compliments.

flies.

screamo bands.

guys with overly long hair, we are talking shoulders here.

skinny jeans.

people who think buffalo exchange is the best thrift store.

7 year olds with cell phones.

kids that back talk their parents.

1009 pounds of make-up on one face.

red cup kids (refer to earlier post).

when people talk out of their ass.

kiss ups.

pitty parties.

when starbucks gets my order wrong (this is rare).

people who think they are "photographers" cause they can take a picture of a

flower.

when i see a 9 year old with 350 dollar headphones and an ipad.

bad graphics in second service.

guys asking girls for nudes.

peace signs.

the over-use of the word, "sorry".

lil wayne.

bad friends.

clumped on mascara.

bad jokes.

"gangsters" who are 12.

skulls, unless its on my headphones.

people who can't admit they are wrong.

when adults treat teenagers like five year olds.

10 year olds having sex.

sitting next to someone who lead you on and decided you weren't for them.

ex boyfriends (it needed to be said).

people who need proof 24/7.

cheesy pick up lines.

short short shorts.

stuffed bras.

people who say "i can't"

"sunday morning only" Christians.

bad breath.

when people change for the worse.

SPARKLES OR GLITTER OF ANY SORT.

trashy bikini pictures.

fake tans.

exs that expect you to still hook-up with them.

cigarettes.

when people think me and my sister look the same.

cramps.

when guys say, "you'll be fine"

when my toes get stepped on.

people who take advantage of people.

obama.

This about sums it up. Now i am annoyed.

goodbye.

hot air

Stars, they are just a big ball of hot air. i mean i never thought hot air could make my heart skip a beat when it flashes through the sky. Yes, ladies and gentleman i saw my first shooting star last night around 3am. Either that, or it was a pretty damn fast airplane. I used to wait, and wait and wait at camps and such to see these flying stunners, but never once did i see one. I was in my yard on a rocking chair with a giant fluffy pillow and my blanket just *sitting, waiting and wishing*. (Jack Johnson credit there). Also, you know what else is funny? I didn't make a wish. I was so caught up in the excitement of seeing a shooting star that the obvious response was not WISH. Hot Air can make my heart skip a beat. I guess you can say im easily amused.

the red cup

ok, cool kids. u have a red cup? whoopie de fricken doo! does this alcohol make u cool? ehh id rather not hook up with random people and sell myself like a piece meat. unlike u "red cup kidos" i feel that i am valuable. yes. the whole treasure not target shit but its soo true. i mean think about it, if you were out there looking for a husband now would u want one that has stuck themselves in about every girl out there! NO! i mean come on people, grow a brain and look out for yourself. you want to be some one that can be respected. this is why i am so over high school, so over the cool kids. so over it all. its a giant joke. holding a red cup doesnt make u cool in my department, it just makes u look stupid and immature. that is all.

all at once...1:59am

Honestly, tonight has been hell. I miss knowing what i want to be. i just wish it would come and slap it across my face like BAM! here you go kimberly, here is what God wants you to do in your life, that would be just dandy. I am so over-whelmed and just want to get away. As a person i feel i am super calm, but certain things like deciding what to do with the rest of my life freaks me out. not knowing and being asked freaks me out. my first thought of what i wanted to be a while back was a missionary, but that would not fly with the parentals, then i figured i could put my some what artistic skill to work and be an artist, come to find out that makes little to none on the money scale. honestly, i dont know what i want to do. maybe something with art and well...idk. for now i want to move out and just create and express myself and design and do as i please, but honestly, thats not happening anytime soon. plus, ive had an itch to paint recently and my mother recently kicked me out of the kitchen table where i used to work and now i have no place to go and create, she wanted me to work in the garage but its about 102 degrees there daily. and its hard to create when my brains are sweating on my shirt. i know im complaining, and i should stop, but something about dropping my anger and stress and complete utter confusion into blogger land makes me happy. and as of now its just me and jack johnson awake, no one is onlne...this rarely happens, but there are few insomniacs out there like myself...its only almost two am and im not even close to being tired. you know what else bothers me? fake people. people that love you to your face but talk shit when u show them ur back. people that love you then leave you. people like that are not worth my time. and as a junior in high school i have grown to realize that shit like that happens. and i have to hold onto the ones that do matter, the ones that love fully and cherish me and our memories, the ones that support your wild dreams and tell you its ok to not have it all figured out. i personally dont like planning things out, parental beggs to differ, it loves to plan things out and bugs the shit out of my until i do it. i think its ok to not have a plan. i love art and i want to do something with that. is that so hard to grasp? no, didnt think so.

3:38am

no sleep just thoughts of future, life, love and millions of colors and images swirling and whirling around in my head. Yep, i sound like a friken hippie. awesome. well, i just finished this book "under the overpass" it was one of the most inspiring books i have ever read...check it out people. anywho...i will discuss that another night. i have something a lot more light hearted. i went to disneyland with one of my bestest friends, Cierra Canale. We proceeded to drop our maturity level down to one of a four year old when we walked into disneyland. Something about that place NOT california adventure, but DISNEYLAND makes me feel like everything is going to be ok and i can just laugh and scream "NO LINE!" then run as fast as i can on the ride because no one was in line. The joy of riding thunder mountain over and over and over and thinking of ways to make it better and better like sitting on the very edge of your seat with ur hands out like buzz light-year and screaming "TO INFINITY AND BEYOND!" or just screaming. The ability to turn into a kid again. i love it. I literally skip around main street like there is no wrong in the world. funny right? Well those giant lollipops in the windows still catch my eye and the cool light things where u push the button and the lights swirl around the disney character of your choice are still my favorite thing to pick up in the stores and play with (i still have NEVER bought one...although i think i would be entertained for quite some time). I was able to drive a car alone today. ok, it was an autopia car and i didn't even touch the wheel i just floored it and enjoyed the very jerky and bumpy exhaust smelling thrill. i was happy. i am happy because you know you have a good day at disneyland when ur feet take a deep sigh once you sit on the tram and you can't wait to go home and come back to the park again.



-ps, all the cool disney shirts are only children sizes, luckily i found a children XL...smaller than a adult medium..it worked ..ive always wanted a shirt with Rex, from Toy Story on it!

:)

feels like crap.

this isnt a good feeling i don't want her being upset with me, i didn't want her to think i was doing this. i feel bad. really bad like its 4:55am and i cant sleep because of it bad. i care a lot. and i always will i hope she will see that i do...best friend, you mean the world to me and i love you and care about you always...


awesome, the sprinklers just went on.

things are

falling into place... finally.

ps-

My Menzhireeg called me today... (thats grandpa in Armenian). He called just to say that he loves me... that made my day more than he will ever know.

<3

thank you...please stay a while

Sometimes in life i feel that we don't say it enough so here it goes...thank you for loving me. playing a role in my life that goes beyond family. Those friendships that easily turn into family when a girl can show up in sweats and her hair in a mess and the person just smiles and gives her a hug. not a single word of judgement. not a single thought of hatred. funny right? i thought i had it all figured out a few years ago. i thought "the more the better". i was wrong, whats a friend if they can't prove it. i have lost many friendships in my time some to a bottle of beer to a couple pills, but i know that the worst is when a person wakes up one morning and just decides that they are too cool for you. it blows. you know that crappy feeling that you get when your parents say "we need to talk" or you get a slip to the school office or a best friend says "i need to talk to you privately" it feels as if there is a little man in your tummy wacking it with a hammer. i dont like him. anyways, thats the worst. as i write this i cant help but think about certain people who i have lost as friends. its sad but then i remember that when it all boils down to it..in this world people are people and sometimes they dont care enough to stay with you on your walk with God, or they decide to sprint away. it kills me to look back on lost memories, changed people, and addictions forming. it scares me. I wish we could just rewind to the days when life was simple and everyone drank out of a juice box, not a glass bottle and playing on a field was tag, and not a sexual reference. Those days, well they are gone and its time to step back and learn to smile because we can live above that. Well living above society's dumb ass rules is pretty hard but accually possible. its simple...just learn who you are and stick with it. love God and love others. a wise woman once told me..accually told me multiple times..."be jesus with skin on" well thats easy to say...... but, she lives it. i want to live it. That certain glow coming from a person who has a fire for God is obvious. its something that people notice with out noticing they have noticed it. if you know what i mean. you know whats funny? dropping my thoughts into the cyber abyss, the botomless pit of chaos on the internet. Well... Dear Mr. Abyss, chew on this for a while.

Rain

Beautiful view in Venice, Italy
Rain rain rain in Venice. Saint Marcos Square is kind of sinking, apparently that is normal here. I have seen millions of masks here and today i am going to purchase two! It is such an art and some of the shops you can see a man actually working on them with the paper masche and sometimes they are made of leather too, it is really neat. Tomorrow i get to go to the glass factory and i am beyond excited! i have wanted to see this sense like 7th grade! i love the look of glass and the shapes and things it can make. Also, it is something that symbolizes Venice because they are famous for their glass. I am so excited to see how this art is produced. Also, there is a ridiculous amount of pigeons in Saint Marcos Square and they loved my RITZ crackers. I didn't like them though, they are like flying rats, ew. Well, its all part of the culture and i love that. Also, trucking through a flooded square is part of it too, the locals just took off their shoes and went through the water, so in my natural instinct to embrace the culture i followed. It was interesting and mom and kristina did it too, but my dad took the other way around...figures haha. Well, i am off to venture around Venice in the rain with my Momma because Dad and Kristina are sleeping. :)




The pigeons in Saint Marcos Square

tiny car

Tiny CAR! I have seen so many tiny cars but this one is the cutest. Dad almost got ran over by a bus so now when he crosses the street he runs, its super funny hes like a little Mario! Now, i am in Venice and unfortunately the internet in Florence was bad and stinky like the air conditioning in mom and dad's room. But, the art there was amazing, hand made marble paper and the artist that did them for us personalized them i got to pick my paper and he hand binded the books for me with the paper he made. He was reasonably priced and was super funny. Plus, he spoke English and about six other languages i believe it was. We visited his cart and shop about 3 days in a row! Florence was great, the Italian people are lively and i love it here. Now i am in Venice and the boats are not small, our room sits right in front of the main canal so its noisy but great because the view is so pretty, i just want to sit and stare out the window, oh wait i already did that. Anywho, the air conditioning dose not work, surprise surprise, but the breeze is nice because of the rain today. Funny, i can't even think of how rain was looked down on by some people, i think it makes everything so new. I love the sound of it and the look of it falling down on a window and the tinkering of it on a roof. Although rain can also trigger certain emotions and memories. But, the rain is a blessing from God and i am thankful. I love seeing the world and different people and places. I think everyone should travel because i learn things i would never have in my little ole home town. Me and my momma like to explore the cities because kristina and dad get tired and her foot bugs her and my daddy likes to nap to keep her company. So, me and mom explore, i think Venice is going to be a challenge though because it is like a little maze because of the water. I am excited to explore and find a mask too! And the glass blowing is something i have wanted to see sense about my 7th grade year, i am so so soo excited! It is such an art and i love italy for having all this amazing art! i will for sure come back in the future. Well, im tired so Ciao! For now :)

Handmade marble paper!

Just one of the amazing handmade masks i saw today.

View from my window, yes i can just stare out for hours.

B-Artists.

Went to the Colosseo today and i realized something...no matter what country i am in there are always people selling stuff on the street. China was the most annoying, but they all have this philosophy, "If i keep following the white person and annoy the hell out of them, they will eventually buy my shit." Well, i have perfected the art of ignoring them and i am proud. Also, i have learned that the street jewelry here is fabulous and i wish we had more creative souls that are as friendly as the ones here, met a man named Antonio and bought some of his jewelry, he proceeded to tell me his story and i learned that he had 4 sisters and he is trying to start a business. His work is amazing and with wire. I have respect for people like this. He even gave me and kristina some free things. We need more Antonios in the world. People who dont have much to give, but give anyways.





After seeing the art at the Vatican i was thinking, holy cow. And thats just it. The famous artist Michael Angelo didn't even want to paint the ceiling of the chapel. He was like hell no and the Pope said if he didnt he would go to war with Florence. Well Michael Angelo was pissed and so he did, and once he finished the pope loved it but some dumb ass cardinal didn't and so therefore Michael Angelo proceeded to paint this "ass" on the chapel. IN hell... on the final judgment picture with donkey ears and a snake biting his balls. Moral of the story: Michael Angelo was a BAD ASS :)

Roma

Off to Italy! Went through about 14 hours of boring to get here, so u better be interesting Italy!
ps- Swiss Airlines is great and our guy that took our tickets was a cutie.



The gelato here is amazing. I have had two and its the first day. Just thought i should state that first. Second, we slept most of the day today because of jet-lagg but i found out that my flat iron works here which made me happy because its the first international flat-iron that has not blown out on me. I was catching a little cold when i woke up then my dad gave me an Alka'scltzer to help, which had drastic side-effects. Needless to say, i was sleeping in the Italian Post Office when we were waiting for currency. just a side note, here in Italy time doesn't matter...it took ONLY about 3 hours to get exchange. Then, we headed to get our Euro-rail pass confirmed and on the way while dodging several tiny wanna-be smart cars and vespas dad almost got hit by a bus. It was a close one, considering here they drive like friken mario cart wii. So we got our passes stamped so we can head to Florence and Venice later on this trip. After that, we were very hungry so mom ripped out her handy dandy rick steve's guide and me and my dad sat there in embarrassment because she looks like a little tourist with her sun-visor and maps and such. Needless to say, we found a little restaurant and it was good the pasta was alright, i still think my grammie's is better but this is only the first place we have eaten here. We proceeded to the grocery store to get bread, this was mom's idea because the food is pricey here. We walked into this semi-creepy warehouse type thing that was a grocery store and this Italian guy proceeds to tell mom that it closes in five minutes, well instead of turning around and coming back later she ran inside down the stairs and we all followed shaking our heads. She got some bread but was too late for the lunch-meat because they had closed those cases. I spotted some Ritz crackers so we grabbed those too. Mom checked out and we headed over to the gelato stand. I bought the family gelato because it was my turn to break my bills. It was yummy as usual. After, we headed up to the room. Im tired and gotta wake up early to tour the Vatican museum in the morn. So excited, although im not Catholic. haha Maybe ill see the Pope? alrighty then, i will update tomorrow if i do not forget but i can not make any promises. :)


Ciao!

all i feel now.

Slow down you crazy child
You're so ambitious for a juvenile
But then if you're so smart tell me why
Are you still so afraid?
Where's the fire, what's the hurry about?
You better cool it off before you burn it out
You got so much to do and only
So many hours in a day

But you know that when the truth is told
That you can get what you want
Or you can just get old
You're gonna kick off before you
even get halfway through
When will you realize...Vienna waits for you

Slow down you're doing fine
You can't be everything you want to be
Before your time
Although it's so romantic on the
borderline tonight (tonight)
[ Find more Lyrics on http://mp3lyrics.org/cQd ]
Too bad but it's the life you lead
You're so ahead of yourself
That you forgot what you need
Though you can see when you're wrong
You know you can't always see when
you're right(you're right)

You got your passion you got your pride
But don't you know that only fools are satisfied?
Dream on but don't imagine they'll all come true
When will you realize
Vienna waits for you

Slow down you crazy child
Take the phone off the hook and disappear for a while
It's alright you can afford to lose a day or two
When will you realize...
Vienna waits for you.

And you know that when the truth is told
That you can get what you want
Or you can just get old
You're gonna kick off before you
even get halfway through
Why don't you realize...Vienna waits for you
When will you realize...Vienna waits for you...




all this is falling into place...

im

mad.

:(

Don't Worry

:) love this.

:)))

So, you know you are in starbucks way too much when the people know you by name, me and my best guy friend, tanner spent all day there study fro chemistry, which is the spon of satan himself. i found out that i am a lot better at homework with in the four walls of starbucks, also when i am trying to do well on an exam, lets just say a 12 page study guide does not lie. Anywho, that was sort of an uneventful day yesterday and then that night i saw one of my good friends needed a hand with some stuff for fundraising and i decided to bake a few things...well i got caried away, (what do u expect im Armenian?) and i made a bunch of food and painted a sign for him just to help out. IT is soo funny how good a simple good deed makes you feel. As i was sitting in starbucks after i droppped that stuff off i was thinking..."What if i did this more often? Would i get this cool fuzzy good job kimberly feeling?" So, there i sat drinking my Iced Americano with 2 add shots, which is a 7 shot drink thinking about this, avoiding my periodic table and that gut feeling in my stomach that was telling me to start my at final that is due wednesday. I then got a phone call from my mom that was the usual "where are you!? when do i get you?! but it was followed with an i talked to kristy's mom....(right about now im thinking omg omg omg maybe she is going to be able to go to india...maybe i will be able to go...) Well my mom proceeded to tell me that my Dad approved! which is a huge thing. And, not only that but Kristy would be able to accompany me on this mission for His glory! :) i do not think i have gotten that excited in my life, not like the 7 shots had kicked in or anything, but i was exstatic!

I still am.

Fast forward an hour and about 2 vente iced teas later,

Memorial Day.

I love having that pride in your nation...the tingle you get when u hear the national anthem before an event that gets your heart racing and you feel an instant pumping in your blood like you can climb any mountain with an American flag strapped to your back! I sat there, in starbucks listening to Toby Keith with my red bandana and USA shirt on thinking, I AM BLESSED. So, therefore my heart was like..."Kimberly do something about it" so i decided to proceed in this process by thanking my Menzhireeg(Grandpa in Armenian) for surving in the force. I also felt it was important that remembered My Uncle Armen who also served...<3 r.i.p..He was not the big tough one that drug his buddie out of the front line but he was a man of a huge heart. He made all the invations for all the military balls and events that were hand written. He helped with making the logos, designs and major artistic features of it all and he never failed to go above and beyond the call of duty. His heart for others was huge and i miss him so much. So much, some times i even regret not spending as much time with him as i should have. He would sit with me and Kristina after dinner thnd tell us we could get a piece of candy out of his drawer if we didn't tell mom. We would then proceed to climb up on his super tall bed or i prefered his lap and listen to a story. Sometimes it was Tom Sawyer, sometimes it was a Nancy Drew book, but the best ones were not even in books. He would make up stories or just tell us about his life in Meadville. He would always tell me and Kristina, "Tsakoog (angel), write down everything. All you think, see, love, and are inspired by." He was a wise man. A creative man. A military man. A man that had a heart bigger than one would ever know. He had unlimited knowledge, he would always use HUGE words like "gargantuan"..which ironically, means huge... and encouraged a good reading of the dictionary or a drawing of the family tree (Which is more like a family forrest when you are Armenian because there are so many people) or a drawing of anything, he inspired and INSPIRES me now.

I love you great uncle armen. More than you would ever know, you taught me the love of learning and that there is no limits to my mind and what i can do with it. You taught me that the most important thing is family, and that they will never leave you. Well, now you are gone and i know that this wisdom will always be with me and i will soon see you again.

Love your Tsakoog.

Giving my mom the flag the US Military gave us in his honor. <3

Things.

.......I.......

-i have consumed over 8 shots of expresso today...easily

-i do NOT sleep...enough

-i need to leave

-i have paint in my hair

-i took the "i" idea from blaire

-i need a break

-i need peace

-i need to sleep?

-i am an addict

-i am recovered

-i am lost in my thoughts of color and images

-i have been drug tested 8 times this year

-i have never smoked

-i laugh at over-achievers

-i am one

-i hope to inspire

-i want to be inspired

-i need my glasses cleaned

-i need to study for finals

-i do not care what you think

-i do not just say that

-i am glad im not involved with you anymore

-i am new

-i am loved by the big man upstairs

-i like short blogs

-i think blaire is a real blogger

-i need a to-do list

-i am unorganized

-i like it that way

-i will not change for you

-i am changed

-i wear way too many bracelets on one hand

-i do not take them off often

-i am drinking a starbucks

-i know the workers at goodwill by name

-i want to sew

-i broke my mom's sewing machine

-i tend to break things

-i am not fragile

-i am opinionated

-i am armenian

-i am short

-i need to blog

-i like to say "im going to blog about that!"

-i always forget when i go to blog

-i think my "i" list is long

-i don't care

-i would stop reading this if it was someone else's maybe...

-i like being outside

-i think ally bender is an artist in more than one way

-i want to mix colors

-i need to finger paint

-i do not own a white shirt with out some kind of paint on it

-i need to get rid of those flowers

-i like classical music

-i am an insomniac

-i am done with this blogg.

I am listening to UP :)

this makes me happy

funny the way it is...

Lying in the park on a beautiful day
Sunshine in the grass, and the children play
Siren’s passing, fire engine red
Someone’s house is burning down on a day like this

The evening comes and we’re hanging out
On the front step and a car rolls by with the windows rolled down

And that war song is playing, “why can’t we be friends?”
Someone is screaming and crying in the apartment upstairs

Funny the way it is, if you think about it
Somebody’s going hungry and someone else is eating out
Funny the way it is, not right or wrong
Somebody’s heart is broken and it becomes your favorite song

The way your mouth feels in your lovers kiss
Like a pretty bird on a breeze or water to a fish
A bomb blast brings a building crashing to the floor
You hear the laughter while the children play war

Funny the way it is, if you think about it
One kid walks 10 miles to school, another’s dropping out
Funny the way it is, not right or wrong
On a soldier’s last breath his baby’s being born

Standing on a bridge, watch the water passing under me
It must’ve been much harder when there was no bridge just water
Now the world is small, remember how it used to be
With mountains and oceans and winters and rivers and stars

Watch the sky, the jet planes, so far out of my reach
Is there someone up there looking down on me?
Boy chase a bird, so close but every time
He’ll never catch her, but he can’t stop trying

Funny the way it is, if you think about it
One kid walks 10 miles to school, another’s dropping out
Funny the way it is, not right or wrong
On a soldier’s last breath his baby’s being born
Funny the way it is, not right or wrong
Somebody’s broken heart becomes your favorite song
Funny the way it is, if you think about it
A kid walks 10 miles to school, another’s dropping out

Standing on a bridge, watch the water passing under me

It must’ve been much harder when there was no bridge just water
Now the world is small, remember how it used to be
With mountains and oceans and winters and rivers and stars

-Dave Matthews Band

-This song triggers several memories... especially with one special person, but i learned to hold onto the true meaning of it. The irony of life. Kinda makes me giggle and cry in the same second, funny the way it is, when you hear something that can bring back 100 memories its like i opened my portable drive with pictures and videos on it in my head and clicked the play back button. This is a new thing for me. new beginning. new chance. new ability i have recognized to change. Its a good one.

i like it.

"We must be the change we want to see"

-Gandhi

Photo Credit- Brittany Steiger

love this...

i hope this gets stuck in your head...and you think about the message not just hum it like you would any other beatles song.

is a failure really just that??... Curious George doesn't think so.

Failure is simply the opportunity to begin again, this time more intelligently.
Henry Ford

Alright Mr. Henry Ford, i get it. I know but i think i can be a little upset that i failed. So what? ok i can do this, but after not having sweets for like 2 months i cracked. yep, i threw the towel in because honestly, who cares? who cares if i have my licsense today? or tomorrow? or in 2 years?

honestly....

i'd rather ride a bike.

YEP, then maybe society wouldn't be so lazy and sit on their butts and watch LOST all day. Which by the way, i do not understand that show anyways. I'd rather watch my puppy run around in circles. ha. Well, im thinking i have tons of studying to do and the number of borderline grades to match, but you know what kind of revelution i had last week?

GOD DOESNT CARE if i fail here.

He doesnt.

He cares about eternal things not A+'s in theology or my attendence at church or if i got my lisense at all!

I want to make a difference, and no im not going to go all "rachel's challenge" on you, but i want to make an eternal difference.

India 2011 will help me make that difference...in a big way.

I am thinking today would be a good day to hop on a boat to Catalina...things are simple there and i get to smell fresh waffle cones and salty sea breeze...but not a gross combination one that just makes me smile and think if only i could live here?

leaving for italy soon. Thank GOD.

did i mention i want to see the world?

all of it.

ps. Curious George makes me happy, not just the soundtrack, but just him, that cute little monkey that always messes up. Makes me think there is hope for me too.