12:39pm...weird.

Here I sit at school...new. A new semester, well two weeks into it all. There is no more crazy stress from the applications but just a soft whisper in my ear telling me I still have so much to complete. The weather is so perfect. I am in my navy dress with a striped cardigan and tights. I feel like I am a serious student. I listen to violin music to soothe my senses, and the ideas start to flow. Paint, canvas, figures, landscapes. I am frustrated. I have always been told what to paint, and know that I have to choose an idea it puzzles me. Should I have went with the figures? What if AP hates it? What if I hate it. I put my whole soul into a piece of work to only be shot down or given an 88% for the millionth time. It is getting old. I want Van Gogh, I want Adermov, I want artists that are like Monet, challenge and explore the surroundings. Can see a beautiful landscape and take it for just that. There is no limits, no personal connection or deep meaning. Simply, a place to let your eyes waltz around the colors and textures that make up a painting. The absolute glee that a piece of art can deliver. Artists have always been misunderstood, or crazy. Whatever. This is a new way of looking at it. Maybe we are not misunderstood, but the people around us are. They are misunderstood, and unable to point out the "goal" in art. There is none. The more art classes I take the more I do not enjoy painting...I love my lessons, but the school's idea of a painting and mine are two very different things. I do not want to make art for him or AP. I want to make art for me and that is that. This post is more of a vent I guess you can say. I am about to take on a huge responsibility and I need the strength as an artist to be able to step back and tell myself to follow my gut. I think it is quite a leap of faith, and I look forward to the journey ahead of me. This will not be hard. I will not attach a picture of my artwork, for I believe that if it was to be seen it would be found. Art is a treasure, and the value is in finding the treasure and the utter beauty in a perfect crimson red or a cool phalo blue. It works. God made it work.