anyone want some spare change?

You change your clothes on a daily basis. Your president promises change (hahahaha...joke.) You change your hair style. The leaves change in the fall (not in Southern Cali...but roll with me on this one) The date changes, the trends change, the weather changes, people change, and change is scarier than scary. Yes, i have been told that change is good. But im not a huge fan unless this is a big change. A small quiet change that awakes you and reminds you who you really truly care about. Yah, its weird, but you know what? Its gunna happen, just like the weather changes. And if you are an insomniac like myself, you can watch the moon change to the sun...you can sometimes even see the dew form on a fresh flower. Its all so slow, but in life, change comes FAST...like BAM! The change i am experiencing is weird, but i think it is going to be ok. Yes, i have already cried hysterically and asked why a million times, but i think it will be ok. Ok, just that. There is a small part of me that is still bitter, but it is a nice healing process. A nice form of rehab i guess. Therapy is a good word. I need to sit back and remember that change can become positive, because all things work for the greater good of those who love HIM. And that is that, and i swear i will love God and love others, because even though this change is terrible, He has something good in store. Now, heres the fun part, guide me! yep, God here it is show me where you want me, either in India for a year? Seattle? Tennessee? Santa Barbara? where? tell me please? that would make my life .5% less stressful. Thanks. But you know if you don't tell me, then i am ok with that because i know that you have it all figured out and i can MAYBE sleep tonight knowing that.

-a very very frazzled kimberly kazarian.

original?

ha. you disgust me. goodbye poser.

something about 3:36am.

something about finding comfort in the fact the world is sleeping, and here. here i am wide awake, one million and ten things to do, and frankly, i dont want to do them. but i will not sleep until all is done. the peace i find in 3:36am. the piece of me that sings aloud, that screams, that slaps paint on a canvas hoping for some direction intrudes my body. the fact that i can sit here completely ignoring my Beowulf essay and be ok. ok with the fact that you know what? i have had a tough week and yes it is only tuesday. something about jon foreman singing through my computer speakers gives me a sense of its the way it is. i am lost and i am ok with it. it takes me back to the time in quaker medow when i literally got lost. bein the rebel i am there was a rule to not go anywhere alone at night, and i got lost. but i was happy. also, being the rebel i am, i had my ipod and i had jon foreman. me and john have been through a lot. he seems to sing the rights things at the right times. the song "your love is strong" is basically my prayer every night. it takes it all and sings it to the Lord. i mean i feel that there is something i am iching to discover, but i have yet to come to it. some spark of ummmph. something to point the way. i want to follow Him in a bigger way. i am determined to find this ummmph i speak of this night.