Sometimes in life i feel that we don't say it enough so here it goes...thank you for loving me. playing a role in my life that goes beyond family. Those friendships that easily turn into family when a girl can show up in sweats and her hair in a mess and the person just smiles and gives her a hug. not a single word of judgement. not a single thought of hatred. funny right? i thought i had it all figured out a few years ago. i thought "the more the better". i was wrong, whats a friend if they can't prove it. i have lost many friendships in my time some to a bottle of beer to a couple pills, but i know that the worst is when a person wakes up one morning and just decides that they are too cool for you. it blows. you know that crappy feeling that you get when your parents say "we need to talk" or you get a slip to the school office or a best friend says "i need to talk to you privately" it feels as if there is a little man in your tummy wacking it with a hammer. i dont like him. anyways, thats the worst. as i write this i cant help but think about certain people who i have lost as friends. its sad but then i remember that when it all boils down to it..in this world people are people and sometimes they dont care enough to stay with you on your walk with God, or they decide to sprint away. it kills me to look back on lost memories, changed people, and addictions forming. it scares me. I wish we could just rewind to the days when life was simple and everyone drank out of a juice box, not a glass bottle and playing on a field was tag, and not a sexual reference. Those days, well they are gone and its time to step back and learn to smile because we can live above that. Well living above society's dumb ass rules is pretty hard but accually possible. its simple...just learn who you are and stick with it. love God and love others. a wise woman once told me..accually told me multiple times..."be jesus with skin on" well thats easy to say...... but, she lives it. i want to live it. That certain glow coming from a person who has a fire for God is obvious. its something that people notice with out noticing they have noticed it. if you know what i mean. you know whats funny? dropping my thoughts into the cyber abyss, the botomless pit of chaos on the internet. Well... Dear Mr. Abyss, chew on this for a while.
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