something about 3:36am.

something about finding comfort in the fact the world is sleeping, and here. here i am wide awake, one million and ten things to do, and frankly, i dont want to do them. but i will not sleep until all is done. the peace i find in 3:36am. the piece of me that sings aloud, that screams, that slaps paint on a canvas hoping for some direction intrudes my body. the fact that i can sit here completely ignoring my Beowulf essay and be ok. ok with the fact that you know what? i have had a tough week and yes it is only tuesday. something about jon foreman singing through my computer speakers gives me a sense of its the way it is. i am lost and i am ok with it. it takes me back to the time in quaker medow when i literally got lost. bein the rebel i am there was a rule to not go anywhere alone at night, and i got lost. but i was happy. also, being the rebel i am, i had my ipod and i had jon foreman. me and john have been through a lot. he seems to sing the rights things at the right times. the song "your love is strong" is basically my prayer every night. it takes it all and sings it to the Lord. i mean i feel that there is something i am iching to discover, but i have yet to come to it. some spark of ummmph. something to point the way. i want to follow Him in a bigger way. i am determined to find this ummmph i speak of this night.